Lohan wanted by the Police

March 15, 2009 by Clark 

I guess they didn’t take too lightly to her refusal to sing ‘Roxanne’. Erm… Actually, Lindsay Lohan is indeed wanted by the police, but not the variety fronted by Sting.

This is possibly a good thing, as the resulting musical aberration may well be too much for the world to take, and could possibly lead to the Earth being turned inside out as a Bad Taste Black Hole forms and sucks all that is good and pure through its all-enveloping eye.

Whoa there, I’ll step back from the padded room for a sec and finish the story. A warrant for the arrest of Ms Lohan has been put out by Beverly Hills police (that sounds like CSI with Hillbillies to me) regarding an incident in 2007 when the actress crashed her car into a tree.

After spending less than an hour and a half in jail, Lindsay was let out on bail and put on 3 years of probation.

According to a UK rag, Lohan is allegedly wanted for failing to comply with the court orders relating to this incident.

Personally, I’d have thought she was wanted by the authorities following some of them catching one of her films. Mean Girls, or that one that everyone nicked the clip of her stripping from and shoved on Youtube (‘I know who killed me’, I believe), would be grounds enough for a stern telling off and a wagging finger of disapproval.

Well, as dodgy as this all is, at least it is some news about her that doesn’t involve some ill-informed hack going on about her sexuality or her relationships. I suppose that’s something. Sort yourself out, Lindsay. You deserve a better life than the one you’re currently having.

Quit the drink and the partying and discover what live can offer without those hideous mainstays of the Hollywood lifestyle.

Have a pie and a sit down.

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