Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap

June 12, 2010 by Clark 

Karate Kid Jaden Chan Keanu Reeves Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap

Opening this Weekend (trailers after the jump)

Karate Kid
It’s currently tracking 53% on RottenTomatoes, which means that, if you were to divorce it from all historical contexts and future implications, the movie itself probably isn’t that bad.  (The most satisfactory movie of summer, said Shrugsworth McWhogivesafuk)  However, as the old saying goes, you vote with your pocketbook, and the last thing I want to vote for is to give more celebrities the ability to buy a movie so that their booger-faced wiener kid can play Celebrity Rockband with some sh*t I’ve already seen 100 times on cable.  But hey, that’s just me.

The A-Team
This one’s got a similarly mixed recommended rating, but for some reason, the concept doesn’t offend me as much.  The idea is stupid, the footage I’ve seen so far is stupid, but it looks like “epically stupid” was the vibe they went for, and at least that I can respect.  “Is he trying to shoot down our drones?“  “No, he’s flying the tank.”  Duh, Mr. Poindexter, did you fall asleep during falling tank driver’s ed or something?  Stupid for stupid’s sake is okay by me, and at the very least, it won’t create any future former child actors.  However, there’s one thing that always gives me pause on modern movies with gratuitous action: the dreaded shakey cam.  I didn’t notice it much in the advance clips, but for what it’s worth, Ebert called it “queasy-cam anarchy,” writing, “The movie uses the new style of violent action, which fragments sequences into so many bits and pieces that it’s impossible to form any sense of what’s happening, or where, or to whom.“  Uh oh.

Seal of approval Weekend Preview: Remakes of CrapWinter’s Bone
Debra Granik’s tour-de-chainsaw that squirrel-knifed its way into my heart at Sundance opens today in New York and L.A.  And it’s the proud recipient of my inaugural “FilmDrunk Seal of Approval.”

Other reviewers have taken issue with the film’s “excessive bleakness,” and it’s definitely bleak as f*ck, but I found the attention to detail in creating that world to be charming. I thought it paid off in the end.  Plus, f*cking hillbillies and meth and chainsaws, dude.  See it early, New York and LA’ers, so that the rest of the country can get some action.  Oh yeah, and Jennifer Lawrence is real purdy.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
I haven’t mentioned this one much, but it’s also getting the New York and LA treatment this weekend.  I didn’t get to see it at Sundance, but I can’t imagine how you can go wrong with a Joan Rivers documentary.  Next week, look for the sequel, Melissa Rivers: Meh.

The Karate Kid

A-Team

Winter’s Bone

Joan Rivers

 Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap  Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap  Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap  Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap  Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap

 Weekend Preview: Remakes of Crap
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